I'm not gone, just sleeping

And traveling and working and building a trebuchet. What ever happened to taking a break during break? Oh well, let's hit on the highlights so far.

VeggieTales Rockin' Tour Live was absolutely great. First of all, it was a road trip with my brother (though we had to take the mini van, which took away a bit of the coolness). Secondly, I got to see Calless, who I haven't seen in quite a while. Thirdly, we ate lunch at Space Aliens (hopefully I'll post pictures soon, though I won't attempt it on the home connection). But most of all, it was just cool to see all the veggies live on stage. Again, the pictures will do it more justice than anything my drained brain can push out right now. So you'll just have to wait and find out. Suffice it to say that they couldn't bounce across the counter, but they were their same silly selves.

I've also been back to the salad bar for two shifts so far this week. Deb seemed happy to see me, and all the ladies enjoyed seeing my pictures from choir tour. Even Anette (one of the upper managers) stopped in the break room to look. I actually ended up staying late yesterday because the bar was so busy during the lunch rush. I think I like the morning shift a lot better now that we have the bigger bar--it's the afternoon to close shift that has to fill the cooler. Tomorrow I close, so that'll be loads of fun. The best part is that I also get to open Saturday morning, which gives me far too short a night. Oh well, I still like my job. I get to hide in the back room away from the customers and just deal with projects. It's fun stuff.

Well, the other big project for break is, of course, the trebuchet. For those of you who don't already know, my final project for Medieval History is to build a working trebuchet (Medieval French catapult--check out ROTK, Minas Tirith had some good ones). My dad, being the ingenius builder that he is, designed a model that will fold in half to fit in Dianna's car trunk. It's fun getting to build something with my dad again. And the best part is, after we compete with our machine, it'll work pretty darn well for launching water balloons. :D

Well, I'm still recovering from half a semester of stress and sleep deprivation, so I'm going to bed even though some people *coughcoughDiannacoughcough* would consider this painfully early. ;)

-Kim

Time for a break?

Oh, yes it is!

I am so glad to be going home for spring break that it's not even funny. I've been feeling rather poorly the past few days, but just the elation of being free has pushed me beyond bouncy. When I finally get home tonight I just want to crash on the sofa and not move until Sunday. Unfortunately, I need to start doing laundry if I want anything clean to wear tomorrow. An dI really don't want to sleep through all of Saturday, because we're headed to ND for an exciting day of fun. Lunch with Calless at Space Aliens in Fargo, then on to VeggieTales Rockin' Tour Live! Woot! Pictures will certainly be posted afterward.

Being home and using dial-up, I will be somewhat disconnected for the next week, so don't feel like I'm ignoring you. All the time that I'm not working at the salad bar will be spent learning my Seussical music and building a trebuchet with my dad.

And now for something completely different...

Yesterday morning I was reminded just how wonderful my friends are. Chris invited a bunch of us over to his apartment for a late breakfast before our 11:00 class, and it was a great time. He's actually a pretty good cook. I don't remember who said it, but someone commented that getting together and cooking and eating together made us feel like family, which is especially important for people whose own families are far away. And even though my parents are only an hour away and I get to see them fairly often, I feel like the people at USF are my family too. I have so many sisters here that it's just crazy, considering I grew up with only an older brother. and now I have more brothers than I can count on one hand, which is good--a girl on her own can always use a couple extra brothers. ;) Anyway, I think the point I was getting at is that the people here (some of the profs included, which is especially nice) make me feel so loved and accepted that they might as well be blood relations. I hope I make them feel the same way.

-Kim

sight-singing is the bane of my existence

Although Honors Seminar is starting to work its way back up to that standing. In class today we watched a video about an "artist" who likes to build spirals out of ice and watch them melt, and will slear when his rock piles pall over. No offonse to those of you who might like this sort of natural art, but I don't see sending a chain of leaves down a river as being especially worthy of the title.

That's enough about that. Now for my title. I don't really want to go into detail. suffice it to say that the entire class did poorly today and Krause was definitely not happy with us. He assumes that none of us prepared at all. I did go through some of it last night, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be perfect at 9:00 in the morning. Oh, and he says we should get up early on sight-singing days and exercise before class so that our bodies will be ready to sing. Um, does he realize hoe early that would necessitate my getting up? Far earlier than I can deal with, at least without falling asleep in my other classes. Unless I start going to bed earlier, but that would not allow time for getting my homework done, besides which, it is impossible to go to sleep before midnight in a dorm--there's just too much noise and activity. Anyway, that's enough ranting--I think I've gotten it out of my system.

In happier news, yesterday was my departmental recital for the semester. It actually went really well, though I was rather nervous. But nobody noticed the measure I screwed up, so that's good. And my dynamics were as good as they've ever been, and I had more vibrato than even in practice. All in all, I'd say it was a success. I'm reading a book right now called "The Heart of the Artist" and it's teaching me quite a bit about serving God with my artistic talents. One of the last chapters was on battling perfectionism, and it was something I needed to hear. I'm never satisfied with my own work. Even if someone else says it's great, I'll be focused on the one little thing that went wrong and decide the whole thing was a failure. That's not a good thing to do. So I'm going to be taking the book to heart and go with the idea that it was a good recital overall and not focus on my one little mistake. And I really don't have time to dwell on it anyway, what with the musical starting soon and juries at in May, not to mention everything going on that's not music related.

Oh, and before I forget, happy spring! Whether it was yesterday or today, South Dakota still welcomed spring with about 4 inches of fresh new snow. I can't wait for spring break--I'll go home and build a snowman! Oh, wait. Brookings didn't get the snow that Sioux Falls did, maybe I'll have to build the snowman before I go.

Anyway, that's probably enough of a study break. I must return to analyzing Mary Wollstonecraft.

-Kim

4 days in 1

Wow, I'm starting to get behind on this whole posting thing again. Oh well, I'm sure you'll forgive me for living my life instead of recording it.

Let's quickly recap the last several days:

Friday was St. Patrick's Day. Now, I'm not a total freak, but I love Ireland and I love the color green, so I absolutely love this holiday. And the fact that it celebrates one of the great figures in Christianity isn't bad either. (If you haven't seen the story of St. Patrick according to VeggieTales, then you really need to. It's on the epsiode The Sumo of the Opera, and I own it. It's actually the most imformative version of the story I've ever seen.) And I was waiting all day for someone to say "Top o'the mornin' to ya!" so that I could respond with the traditional Irish response, which we learned on tour there in January. Alas, few people on this campus seemed to realize that there was any sort of holiday going on at all, and I never got my chance. (While I'm on the subject, bonus points to any of my regular readers who remember the traditional response.)

Friday night we watched Pride and Prejudice for the second time in two days. Thursday was an act of spontaneity, Friday night has been planned for weeks. It was this month's Sigma Tau Delta event. Funny thing was, non-members outnumbered members this time. Oh well, the point was to get the campus involved. I absolutely love that movie. No, I'm not going to turn all girlie on you, but I will proudly admit to liking chick flicks, this one in particular. Although, I'm at least as enamored by the soundtrack and the scenery as I am with the thought of Mr. Darcy. Does that grant any comfort to those out there who were begining to fear for my tomboy identity? Good. ;)

Friday night was also game night here in Sullivan. It had a slow start, but it turned out to be quite fun. I like playing DDR, even though I'm not very good at it.

On Saturday I slept a lot. And I mean a lot. I didn't get up until noon, and then I took an afternoon nap. After visiting Dianna's parents for an impromteau dinner, I decided to opt out of a dance over at Augie which was apparently a great deal of fun. Oh well. I practiced for Monday's departmental and went to bed at a decent hour instead. Sometimes a person just has to make selfish decisions in the name of health. Oh, and I finally ordered prints of my Europe pictures. Now I'll be able to have them all albumed (I think I just invented a word) and labeled before break to show them to Calless and yhe ladies at work. It took a really long time to upload them, which is why I ended up taking a nap. That, and Dianna was sleeping, which meant I couldn't practice. I love living with Dianna, but some days I wish I didn't have to build my day around someone else's schedule.

Today I've had a bad headache most of the day. It has been a good day nonetheless. This morning I told Allan that I for sure wanted to counsel at high school camp this summer, and he seemed terribly grateful for that. This afternoon we hung out at Chris and Steve's apartment. I was there from lunch time until I had to go to work in the writing center. We watched
Myth Busters and then Ice Age--fun times. Steve cooked us dinner, and it was actually pretty good. And since I now know they have no issues with everyone eating out of the same ice cream bucket, I think I am going to have to make elk pie when Audrey and I cook for them someday.

David and I talked today about his stories again, and I think I'm getting a better feel for them now. I'm excited to work on them, I just wish I could forsee myself having enough time to do them justice. We'll see how things go.

Playing my recital piece relieved my headache a bit tonight, but it still hurts. It doesn't seem like my sinuses are acting up, so I'm beging to fear it may be a stress headache. In which case, it won't be leaving for the next month or so.

Well, this is probably enough rambling for one night. I must return to my reading for Medieval History.

-Kim

Pi Day

Yes, yesterday was pi day. So of course we had to go out and eat pie. Let me just say that it was a great time. My friends are all insane, but that's why I love them.

Today I felt like I was being swallowed whole by Jeschke and the music department. I had a music theory test this morning (which I was not quite awake for, but it shoule be alright), and then Doc had me run an errand to the business office because I'm in charge of the band uniforms now (no, that doesn't mean I can get us different dresses next year--I wish). Then it was back the the music hall to practice with Carol for my departmental next Monday, at which point Doc approached me again. Apparently the violin count for the musical has dropped from 4 to 2.5. Traci can't be in pit at all, and Sarah would have to miss half of the shows. So now Doc wants me on first. He was being all concerned and asking me how much I've been playing lately, since the show is 90 mins long with no intermission. Oh, Doc, if only you knew what the last two weeks have been like and why--90 mins has become the standard. (Isn't it cool how God prepares us for things like this?) I'm humbled that he said he *wants* me to be the one playing first. The show doesn't actually look too bad. Like all pit orchestra music, there are crazy key signatures everywhere, but very little of it demands leaving first position, so it really shouldn't be bad at all. Although I still wish I knew what it sounded like. Perhaps I should borrow Adam's CD...

Anyway, that's probably enough rambling about the musical. I can't think about it much yet anyway--I have a band concert tomorrow night. Maybe then there will be a break? Doubtful. Oh well. So far I'm still cruising along--we'll see how long it takes before I crash again.

Oh, and just to clarify on my last post: counseling at Camp Judson only fills one week of my summer. The rest of the time I will indeed be locked in the salad bar cutting vegetables and building fruit pizzas. There will be plenty of chances for raids. ;)

-Kim

Gotta love South Dakota weather

After all, no South Dakota winter is complete without a mid-March blizzard. Although, the wind really isn't strong enough to classify this as a blizzard, but we are getting a substantial ammount of heavy, wet snow. This whole week has been crazy for weather, what with the thunderstorm during chapel Tuesday morning (complete with hail) and sunny spring temps Thursday and Friday. Today's snow started while we were in church and is supposed to keep going well into the night. I'm not looking forward to walking to the library for work tonight. On the bright side, nobody else will want to come either, so I should have a nice quiet shift at the writing center.

OK, now that I've got that out of my system, we can turn to something a little more important. Allan was preaching at church this morning, and I can't see Allan without thinking about camp. Actually, I saw several people today who made me think of camp (that happens a lot at First B). Reed gave me a hug before the service, and we ended up sitting by a family from family camp (I already forgot the name, I'm terrible with names). Anyway, all these encounters turned my thoughts back to a place I've been a lot lately. I think God wants me to be a counselor out at Camp Judson this summer. Allan was all excited when I mentioned to him that I was thinking about it, and Cathy Shock (my counselor the last two years I attended youth camp) keeps telling me what a good counselor I would be. Sometimes I'm not so sure. I've never done this sort of thing before. Would I be able to answer their questions? Would I be able to really connect with them? I want to be able to share God's love with them, but I'm afraid. So I'm asking for prayer. Pray that God would make it clear whether I should do this and that I would have the courage to carry it out. The timing is also an issue. If I counsel at junior camp, I'll miss all of the Arts Festival and won't be able to help mom with her booth. If I go to either middle or high school camp I won't be able to go to Sonshine. Right now it seems like I'm supposed to go with the high schoolers, but that's the group that scares me the most. Do I have the experience and the insight to deal with the questions and problems they'll have? I just don't know. Please pray for me.

-Kim

I want love, love, love, love, perfect love

I must be channeling Dianna, using a song lyric as my title again. Oh well, the Supertones rock and it fits what I have to say.

And yes, this does also go along with the verse from Job I posted yesterday. You see, I don't share things very often. Sometimes it feels like I've only been allowed a certain number of words to use in a day, and they shouldn't be wasted. This, of course is foolish, but follow the analogy anyway. I ration them so severly that after time I have so many unused words and so many unshared thoughts that I have to let them out or go mad. So why don't I just talk to people more often? Well, that's when my personality gets in the way. I don't want to brag about all the good things that happen in my life, and I certainly don't want to admit my failings. I tell myself I like being alone, but I really need people and I'm afraid of losing those around me. Of course, all that really comes of silence is disconnectedness, so I'm only hurting myself by hiding.

So today we start by sharing the wonderful thing that God has been doing in my life in the past several months. For the clearest picture, the story should start back at TCX. Crawford Loritts spoke on Revelation 2, specifically the church at Ephesus. This church was actually doing quite well and the people there were praised for their hard work and perseverence. But then, only one verse later, the church is condemned. "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." They had become so wrapped up in the things they were doing, that they forgot why they were doing them in the first place. Following rules of right behavior had replaced Jesus in their hearts, and they needed to repent and begin again. That really struck a chord with me, and I couldn't get the thought out of my mind. Had I forsaken my first love? Had I allowed myself to become so busy that my Savior was no longer the center of my life?

I had gone to TCX full of questions. The end of the fall semester had left me reeling, and one thing was abundantly clear: I had built too much of my self-identity on my academic record. With that pillar knocked out from under me, I didn't know what to do with myself, I wasn't sure who I even was anymore. I was vulnerable enough for God to finally get through to me.

What was so amazing to me was that even though I had fallen into a pattern of following my own wisdom instead of God's will, and even though I was having to deal with the consequences of some of my mistakes, God was still in love with me. He was still drawing me back to him, still wooing me back into his loving arms. And he keeps showing me this. It's almost funny how many "coincidences" I've encountered lately. Let me share a few, just to show you how abundantly cool and tenacious our wonderful God is.

Traveling through Europe with the choir this January, one of my most favorite pieces we did was "The Rose of Sharon", which is taken directly from the Song of Solomon. And on the day we visited Cambridge University, we attended the Clare College evensong. Even though it was unity Sunday, the pastor decided to change things up and speak to us about the love of God, using his love for his wife as an illustration. It was one of the best sermons I've heard in a long time.

Once spring semester started, things got busy again. I finally went to the River, for the first time since last year, and what do you think the topic was? Of course, love. They showed a Nooma video I'd already seen, but what the speaker said afterward made the idea stick.

Even the Rebecca St James concert was part of all this. I'm not generally one for impulse buys, but I picked up a bracelet from her merch table on a whim and have been wearing it ever since. It's green and says "I am loved" on it. It's been a daily reminder that God really does love me, even on days when I think he probably shouldn't. And at this concert I met Jadon Lavik. I knew some of his music before, but I didn't know it was his (that's what happens when I hear things on the radio). His song "What If" has really stuck with me since that night. "You say I belong to you apart from the things I do." God loves me (and you--don't think I'm being selfish, it's just easier to make my point this way) simply because I am his. Nothing I do could ever make me love him more, and nothing could ever make him love me less. That's a thought to keep.

Then, two weeks ago it all came to a head. A group of USF-ers were leading worship at First B, and I could just feel God speaking to me. Every single song was specifically about God's love. Pastor Lee's sermon was all about how perfected love is God's gift to us (and this was simply the next part in a series he's been doing working through I John), perfected love casts out fear, and perfected love build's community (these are his own subject headings from the back of the bulletin). This was the day other things started clicking. As we worshipped, I could feel love just filling me up inside. There was no way to keep it in, and I realized that I wasn't supposed to. This love was for sharing. But who was it to be shared with? Certainly not just one person (don't even get me started on the topic of dating--there's no way I have time in my life to even think about it right now). No, this love was for everyone. I felt love and appreciation for the worship team, Pastor Lee, the whole congregation.

And if it were to stop there, it would all have been for naught. Warm fuzzy feelings are all well and good, but they don't accomplish anything. Yes, we all need constant reminders of God's love for us (I know I still do), but that's just the thing we *all* need to be reminded. and we can each be the vessel/instrument of God's love to people in our world. I know this happens daily in even the briefest of encounters. Sometimes all it takes is a smile and a greeting to raise someone's spirits. My favorite ministry at the moment is sharing God's love with the kids and the Banquet by reading with them (see Thursday's post).

The more I experience God's love in my own life, the more I want to be able to share that with others. Even more, I want to show my gratitude by giving that love back to God as well. I think he's been showing me ways to do this too, but that's a topic for another post. I can only handle so much profundity in one night. Besides, just this much took two weeks to write.

Resting securely in the warmth of God's love,
-Kim

I smell like a campfire

But it's okay, because that's a good smell. I just got in from our miniature bonfire out in the parking lot. We set up the little fire bowl in the handicapped spot--we knew that spot would be good for something! I probably ate more s'mores than I should have, but it was all good fun. It hasn't been a proper bonfire unless you come back in with your hands and face all sticky.

Dianna and people are out playing capture the flag right now. I decided not to join them this time because for some reason I feel incredibly cold and tired. And a good game of capture the flag is not worth my getting sick.

Anyway, I figured a small post is better than none. I'm trying to keep from falling into my old pattern of posting once a week at the most. Feel free to let me know which method you prefer--posting often, or posting things that may be more meaningful. At any rate, it would be good to know that people are actually reading this and I'm not just muttering into the void.

-Kim

I love little kids

And tonight I got to see quite a few of them at the Banquet. No, this isn't a fancy dinner, it's a place where the poor of Sioux Falls can come for a free meal. On Thursday nights USF helps in the children's room reading to the kids and giving them books. This was the first time I've gone that it actually worked out that way. The first time I went they were short on their usual staff (it's all volunteer groups), so I ended up handing out tickets at the door. The next time there just weren't any interested children. But this time there was quite a crowd of eager young faces. Of course, there were also rambunctious little boys who would rather break things, but Dennis and the guys were able to tame them.

I wish I could remember the names of all the kids I met, but they tended to mumble and I have a terrible memory for names. Anyway, the first book I read to a girl involved random animal sounds, so that was a fun time. She seemed to really enjoy it. I just love how excited she and the others got when we offered to read to or with them. I'm definitely going back next time.

So many books and little eager readers. The very thought of it moves me in my writer's heart. Shoot. That reminds me: I'm supposed to be working on David's story. Or my novel. Or even homework, should I become terribly ambitious. Yes, I think it's time that I quit this rambling and get something productive done.

-Kim

This isn't class, it's Calvinball!

Yes, I am referring to that wonderful course known as Honors Seminar. Kirby keeps making up rules as he goes along, and it was starting to really frustrate some of my classmates. And yes, I did actually say that in class today. Far from being mad, Kirby liked my metaphor so much that he gave me essay points for it. This was great, because there was no way I was going to have an essay done by 5:00 tonight to email him for this week. No, this afternoon was devoted to a much better cause: Amanda. Amanda's grandmother is in the hospital right now after a stroke. Today I was her much-needed diversion from all the stress of that situation. I was just glad I could spend time with her. Usually I would have choir in the afternoon, but Krause is out of town for a funeral, which means I also don't have class tomorrow.

It's amazing how perfect the timing has been for pretty much everything in the past few weeks. It's given me a chance to slow down for once and not be driven completely insane. I mean, what with the concert and all, you'd think I would be busier and more stressed, but I really wasn't. It almost seemed like I had less to do. I mean, there were still things I didn't get done, but it ended up that it didn't matter. I didn't get my music theory homewok done on time, but we didn't correct those pages in class until a few days latter, so it didn't matter, and I've got more time still to read my chapters for Medieval history because Dr. Herman as taking a lot longer than planned to lecture through them. Of course, this peace is rather tenuous, what with classes and rehearsals every day and working in the writing center, but for the moment all is well. i'll look back wistfully on these weeks once we start musical rehearsals in a few weeks. Some of my friends are already attending rehearsal every night, and I don't know how they keep up with it all. Those of us in the pit have yet to see the music and won't have rehearsals until next week or the week after. I don't even want to think about what it will be like when we do our eight performances in five days.

In Honors Seminar today we were looking at a poem that spoke of the importance of empty space in a fire, that there needs to be space between the logs for flame to thrive there. It's like that with life too. We can pile activities into our lives thinking they will make us better people or make our lives more rewarding, but there comes a time when all of the stuff we pile on only makes the flame die out. That's why it is so important to be able to take time off to relax. When my fire is in danger of being snuffed, God is notorious for forcing me to let it all go. I'm also learning to follow his leading before things get that bad, and then he keeps the problems from building up that way. It's amazing how much better life is when I'm following God closely rather than trying to figure things out for myself. I know it's cliche, but God's timing really is perfect.

And now, with Dianna at work and the room to myself, the time seems perfect to make a little music.

-Kim

I'm flying and I don't want to ever come down

(Yes, I know my title has a split infinitive)

Let me just say that the Jeremy Camp concert was absolutely amazing. And yes, that's going to be the main topic of this post, but we'll try to focus more on its effects on me, of which there were a couple important ones.

First of all, I was involved with concert stuff starting Tuesday night, when we had to set everything us in Jeschke so that Jeremy could practice on Wednesday. We were the first stop of the tour, so we got to keep them for a while. Anyway, I met the stage crew that night, and they remembered me when we were setting everything up in Stewie on Thursday morning. They were awesome guys, and I hope they get good volunteer help at the rest of their venues.

After I got back from honors seminar (which was the only class I attended Thursday) we were still arranging everything in the gym. Once the stage was set, Whipps kept finding random little jobs for all of us to do. I ended up straightening all of the folding chairs in the gym. Oddly enough, I enjoyed that job. It was nice just having something simple and orderly to do. (Yes, I realize it sounds bizarre, but I still think being a librarian might be fun, so I'm allowed to be anal.)

During the soundcheck I decided that Bethany Dillon reminds me of Audrey in the way that she plays and sings. Because Audrey is just cool like that.

It was amazing how normal all of the band members are. I mean, we hung out all afternoon/evening and they just hung around and chatted with us like normal people. Kutless last year, and BarlowGirl both times they were here just kind of ignored us and hid in the corner. But Jeremy and the guys, they were all about having fun.

During the concert I worked my way around the stage trying to get the perfect pictures of everyone, and I actually spent the first bit of the show sitting on the floor at Jeremy's feet. About halfway through the set my camera battery died. I was rather upset at first, since I had told Joey (the violinist) that I would take pictures for him. Really, though, I think I enjoyed the end of the concert even more without watching it through a lens. I was standing nearly backstage, though I guess Dianna's mom could see me because she told me later that it looked like I was "enchanted" by the violin. And not just the sound--she could tell I was watching Joey's fingers intently. I'll be the first to admit that I'm a music nerd, so I don't mind owning up to that fact. Afterwards Joey was wonderful enough to let me play the woundrous 7-string electric violin, and I was amazed at how it could feel both strange and familiar at the same time.

Here is where the narration will end. We got everything loaded out in a reasonable ammount of time, and I got to hang with the guys some more, but it took until a few days later for the full impact of that night to sink in. While I was watching Joey onstage, God planted a dream in me. I want to do what Joey was doing. I want to play with a rockin' band that praises God. I want to honor God with the gifts and talents He has given me, and be a blessing to others at the same time. And this isn't just some pie in the sky. I've played my violin more in the past two days than I had in the past two weeks. And Audrey has been talking for a while now about us working together to play a gig at the Firehouse. And from there, who knows...

Anyways, I think I'll end this post with the words of our pal Bethany Dillon:
"I am a dreamer, take me higher. Open the sky up. Start a fire. I believe even if it's just a dream"

-Kim