east coast snow day

School has been canceled this afternoon. It doesn't affect me because I don't have Wednesday classes, but I find it rather entertaining. It was snowing lightly this morning, then it warmed up and turned to rain, and now that rain is starting to freeze. All classes after 2:30 were canceled because of expected poor driving conditions. I suppose I can understand that--the traffic in this city is bad enough without putting ice under the tires of people who aren't used to it. Even so, it seems surreal that a snow day could be called with very little actual snow, and temperatures hovering around the freezing point.

I have actually spent the entire day in my room so far. I'm not feeling the best, and I had no responsibilities today, so I took it easy. My breakfast was so late, I didn't feel the need to go out and get lunch, so I had afternoon tea to tide me over until dinner. And in the meantime, I practiced my violin for just under an hour and wrote 1000 words on my next novel (finally! that opening scene has been in my head for ages!).

The biggest problem concerning my writing has been the problem of inertia. After I finally finished writing and editing the first novel, I took a break, and never really got back into it. I wrote all sorts of other things in the meantime, but I couldn't make myself leap into another novel. I lost all momentum in that direction and just sat, waiting for a push that I knew I would resent needing. The last weekend before I came back to Boston I met with my writer friends in Sioux Falls. They've all been making good progress (Dale had a short story bought by a SFF magazine!), and I've produced nothing. Granted, my life is busier than theirs what with grad school and all, but I still felt guilty talking with them about my lack of progress. But amazingly, they all understand. They didn't lecture me, but they did give me an assignment. Dale wanted me to write a chapter, and Caleb bumped it up and said I need to finish multiple chapters before the end of the semester. If I can have a few more days like today, that might actually be possible, which is a very good feeling.

That was one of the things that helped push me to start writing again. Another is a book my parents gave me for Christmas (at my request) called The Writing Life, by author Annie Dillard. I haven't read much of her other work, but I very much enjoy this book. She writes very candidly about what a struggle it is to be a writer. And she writes about famous authors who *didn't* write a novel every month. I find nothing more depressing than hearing about people like Stephen King who write 2000+ words a day without fail and continually produce magic. For normal people, even "normal" writers, it isn't always easy and is more often a struggle attempting to produce something magical. One passage I read today was especially helpful:

"It makes more sense to write one big book--a novel or nonfiction narrative--than to write many stories or essays. Into a long, ambitious project can fit or pour all you possess and learn. A project that takes five years will accumulate those years; inventions and richness. Much of those years' reading will feed the work. Further, writing sentences is difficult whatever their subject. It is no less difficult to write sentences in a recipe than sentences in Moby-Dick. So you might as well write Moby-Dick. Similarly, since each original work requires a unique form, it is more prudent to struggle with the outcome of only one form--that of a long work--than to struggle with the many forms of a collection."

Well, that's a relief. I've been debating with myself for months whether I should try my hand at short stories again and have more material to submit. But I'm just not nearly as good at that form. Long works hold my passion, so I may as well dive headfirst into another novel if I'm going to write anything at all.

On a somewhat related tangent: I've been reading Genesis lately, and today I was reading the story of Jacob working for Laban to "earn" his wives. I worked close to 7 years for my first novel, do you suppose I'll have to work another 7 on Rachael?

One last thing to mention, though I know this is getting painfully long. My last piece of inspiration comes from the animated movie Kevin and Beth gave me for Christmas. Whisper of the Heart is about a girl who wants to be a writer and follows her dreams. I finally watched it last night, and thoroughly enjoyed it (even though the always-anticipated magical happenings never actually happened--I think this is the first movie Miyazaki has made without any). I've never been so influenced by the cartoons I watch, and now it's happened twice in one week. I suppose I should just be grateful that the anime I choose to watch for entertainment can inspire me at the same time.

-Kim

grad school geese

The residence campus has been invaded by a flock of geese. I find it hilarious, because so far they've only hung out on the quad and pecked at the ground for food. Well, and then I met these three walking down the street on my way back from church on Sunday. They were very calm and cool about it too, just strutting along at their own pace, even with a car behind them. At least one of my neighbors is actually afraid of the geese, and seems to think they will chase her. Personally, I doubt that part, but it is annoying that they are making a mess of our sidewalks. It will be nice when the city thaws and they can return to their parks, but for now I'll continue to laugh at the geese and their antics.

-Kim

The Benefits of Anime

Many of you may already know this, but one of the ways I found to fit in here last semester was by joining some other girls in the hall to watch anime once a week. We ended up getting through two entire series, plus watching random episodes of a couple of others. It was a great way to connect and have fun together, and it meant I always had something to do after class on Tuesdays. Sadly, my anime buddies have graduated and moved on, but my own rekindled interest in anime has not.

Yesterday afternoon I was rather bored, so I went online to a site that allows you to watch subtitled episodes of anime online (paying subscribers can watch as much as they want, but you're also allowed free access to 72 minutes a day for free--the time limit is actually quite handy, to avoid being sucked in completely [although, if you watch a few episodes through other streaming sites, you can watch more]). We had to use this site to watch a few of our Hana Yori Dango episodes last semester when the library didn't have all the discs we requested, so I went bakc to see what else they had that looked interesting. At the top of the page there was an advertisement for a series, and the picture showed musical instruments, so I clicked on it to see what it was all about. I have since decided that it is a new favorite, and I will be watching the entire series in my free time.

Nodame Cantabile is about students at a Tokyo music conservatory. The series is labeled as a romance, I suppose because the lead characters will eventually get together, but it's really about the music. Chiaki is a talented violinist and pianist, but he wants to be a conductor, and we get to follow him fulfilling that dream through being thrust into conducting a student group and actually making them sound good. Nodame is a gifted pianist with an unusual style, which doesn't fit with Chiaki's rigid Classical interpretations, but they all end up learning from each other. At least so far. the best part about this show is that the music is real, and so very good! And the animation actually fits the music being played! In Hana Yori Dango there was a character who played the violin, and the music was lovely, but the animation of his playing made me cringe. In Nodame Cantabile, the violinists, floutists, clarinetists, even the pianists move as if they are actually playing, and it makes me glad to see it. If only every cartoon musician paid such attention to detail...

And now for the real benefit. Episode 2 brings in a character who plays the violin (electric violin in a rock band, no less!) who is struggling to pass his performance final. Our two main characters help him in their own unique ways and he decides to dedicate his life to Classical music. The piece he played in the episode was Beethoven's violin Sonato No. 5, "Spring." It sounded so lovely, I had to get my own violin out. I don't have any Beethoven at the moment, so I went for Mozart, bringing out a piece Maria and I worked on my junior year. It felt so good! Not only did I run through the movement I once performed so well, I played the next two movements as well, which we never had spent much time on. I intend to keep playing that one until I feel like I could actually perform all three movements. Not that I have a place to perform a solo (though the COF orchestra starts rehearsals this Thursday!), but that's hardly the point at the moment. I think the reason I found it difficult to make myself practice was that I didn't have any real goals aside from staying in good shape for playing. Now I have a goal. I may even look into getting that Beethoven piece and trying to play it like the boy did in the episode. Now that would be fun!

Oh, and at Park Street this morning I filled out a card to let them know that I play violin and would be willing to participate in the service doing special music or something. A violin duet played this morning during the offering, and it sounded so lovely. Maybe I can join the Park Street Strings while I'm here too.

So you see, I found a show that both entertains and motivates me! Perhaps next I should search for one that will motivate me to write...

-Kim

journeying back

Well, I'm back in Boston. My trip out was fairly uneventful, aside from the stupidity of airline workers. At the Sioux Falls airport, while Dad was helping me check in, the girl at the desk tried to tell me that because the plane was a small 50-seater, my violin would have to be checked planeside, meaning that it would make the journey to Minneapolis in the cargo bay. Well, I was already stressed about leaving home again and couldn't stop myself from bursting into tears right there. The girl left, and Dad assured me that she must be mistaken. Of course she must--all the major airlines make allowances for musical instruments, which need much better care that would be afforded in the cargo bay, hence claiming it as my carry-on in the first place. As I was bording another airline employee tried to tell me the same thing. I told her that I knew it would fit (almost crying this time as well), and she asked me if I was going to not take the flight if it didn't. She said that I could try to put it on the plane, but I would most likely have to come back out and check it. Yeah right. When I stepped onto the plane, all the flight attendant told me was that the instrument would have to go in the overhead, and my backpack would have to go under my seat. Thank you--that was what I had intended to do all along. And of course it fit, with inches to spare in length and plenty of room for coats or small bags around it. I think the airline workers who stay in the terminal need to have a better understanding of the planes and policies before they try to freak out their passengers so much.

My seatmate was an old weathered farmer on his way to Hawaii. We only talked a little, but he told me to stay in school and to see Niagra Falls some day.

On my second flight there was no space issue, and my neighbor didn't feel like talking, so I got a lot of reading done. And when we reached Boston, we had to circle in a holding pattern for a few minutes before we had an open runway to land on. And, upon leaving the terminal, I had the first taxi ride of my life. It was weird, because the driver was on the phone the whole time (using a hands-free earpiece, don't worry) and talking in what may or may not have been French. He was also singing, and that part sounded the most like French. It was odd. And apparently, if you don't tip the driver you may have to get your bags out of the trunk yourself. Oh well, at least it was better than dragging all my luggage through the subway system.

It took me until Friday night to actually get my things unpacked, but I'm all settled back in now--I even started organizing my desk!

Also, I have a new job. I interviewed for and was offered a position at the Beatley Library (Simmons campus) circulation desk. The schedule was already set, with just a few holes, so i'm only filling one shift a week, but it's five more hours of pay every week, plus library experience to put on my resume. I figure that's worth it. Plus, I should be able to keep working there for the summer, which would be nice if nothing better works out.

And guess what! One of the new students this semester is from South Dakota! She grew up in Vermillion, and went to Nebraska for undergrad. She's even in the archives track! Can you tell I'm excited to have someone else around who understands what the midwest is really like and knows what I'm talking about when I bring up Sioux Falls. Having Xave (short for Xaviera--her parents are from Chile) around makes me feel better about finding friends in this new group of students.

-Kim

blowing snow

Whoever thinks South Dakota is boring clearly never tried to drive here in the winter. This past weekend I drove down to Sioux Falls one last time to see a few more people before heading back to Boston this Thursday. Driving down on Saturday afternoon was the most strenuous drive I’ve ever experienced. It was sunny and clear above, but strong winds were blowing the snow across the road in waves of mist, making the pavement look as much like a river as a road. (Playing "find the lane" is bad enough on snowy streets in town, but it's downright dangerous on the interstate.) Even worse, there was snow buildup in the left lane. There was a plow in that lane, working to get it cleared, but it had a long way left to go. The first time I came across the snow buildup, I couldn’t get out of the lane because of another car, and it caused me to swerve back and forth quite a bit before I got out onto clear pavement again. After that, I didn’t try to pass anyone until I came to a stretch near Sioux Falls that was completely clear in both lanes. For a while, a string of us were driving 45 mph, and even on the better spots we didn’t get much above 60mph. I can’t tell you how many cars I saw in the ditch on that drive (just as many SUVs as anything else—four-wheel-drive does not mean you can drive full speed on snow!).

On Sunday I wasn’t finished with business in town until after dark, so I stayed an extra night in order to avoid facing the same blowing snow in the dark. The few hours lost the next day were more than made up for in safe driving conditions and unexpected time with friends as I spent the night at Lauren and Berty’s CB apartment one last time.

-Kim

school days

I guess when you work with children, there is never a boring day, or even two days that are actually alike. Yesterday I had two bloody noses in the third grade and one missing kindergardener who turned out not to be missing after all. Today the weather was so cold all the kids had to be inside for recess, and they were bouncing off the walls. I've decided that, in spite of how troublesome it is to get an entire class of kindergardeners into their snow gear, I would much rather do that than supervise them for indoor recess. But that's not the only thing that made today interesting. Sometime around 10:15, less than an hour before the lunch rush starts, the fire alarm went off. Everyone went outside (where the wind chill was apparently still below zero) with no coats because there wasn't time, and waited on the sidewalk. No one knew what was going on, and the general consensus is that a child pulled the fire alarm. After that we had an especially rowdy lunchtime, which was not helped by the fact that all the kindergarden through second grade classrooms had substitutes because of a teacher workshop.

Madness, pure madness.

I now have a better idea what the daily grind of a work week is really like. It's amazing how little time the evening seems to hold when I've been on my feet all day and have to be up at 6 again the next morning. I'm glad my chosen profession doesn't involve chasing after children all day, because I would never survive it.

-Kim

hello 2009

Today school is back in session in Brookings, SD. That means mom is back at work, having recovered from her hip surgery. She's still a little stiff, but she's walking so much better than before! I also went to school today. For the next two weeks, while I'm in town, I'm doing playground duty at Hilcrest Elementary. It involves watching kindergardeners before school in the morning and helping them get out of their snow gear for the start of the day, then helping them to lunch and taking them out for recess, rushing back in to take out the third graders and then taking the third graders to lunch. It ends up being about 3 hours of actual work, but it takes a larger chunk of the day to accomplish it all. For the hours in between the start of the day and the lunch rush I helped mom in her art room, since it didn't make much sense to me to leave the school only to rush right back to it. Once I get a handle on what kids I'm supposed to be watching, it shouldn't be a bad job. I also need to memorize the names of the kindergarden and third grade teachers so I can keep the kids in classroom groups--that seems to be the most important part.

Interestingly enough, my paperwork for this job isn't processed yet, but they decided I should just come in anyway because they need the help. I had to have a background check, which has apparently been completed, just not turned in properly. I've had one before, when I first was hired by the city of Sioux Falls. It involves being fingerprinted and waiting for the government to confirm that I'm not a child molester or anything. What was different about it this time is that I had the fingerprinting done here in Brookings instead of Sioux Falls. This town doesn't have the demand that Sioux Falls does to allow for fingerprinting in more than one location. So yes, I had to go to the jail and be escorted through two locked doors and have my fingerprints taken in the same room where they process criminals. It was weird. On the bright side, I also got to experience having my fingerprints read electronically instead of doing the ink method. That was pretty darn cool. As a writer, I store all these random experiences in my mind for future reference, so random experiences like that are perfectly welcome in my life.

Some other experiences are less welcome in my life. One reason I haven't written for so long (besides being generally busy) is that I broke up with Sherwin right before Christmas. I wasn't sure how to write about it, and sharing the seasonal joys without addressing it didn't feel right either. Even now I won't go into detail, because I don't feel this is the proper medium, but all of you, my readers and friends, should know why it is that I've been so long absent. Even though it was my decision to end the relationship, I feel the loss acutely and had to lose myself completely in the work and play of the season to allow my heart to heal. I wish I hadn't hurt him, and I hope we can be friends again someday, but I know better than to intrude on his own healing--I will not allow myself to distract him from the challenges he faces this semester. Those of you who are praying folk, please keep him in mind.

And now that I have thoroughly killed the mood, let me perk things up a bit before I let you go. Christmas was great--I got to see my brother and his wife, I decorated cookies with dad, and I almost singlehandedly made the house look festive (since mom was still laid up and dad was tired from working overtime). It's been a busy few weeks, including time spent in Sioux Falls catching up with friends I hadn't seen in months. Sometimes I forget that life goes on without me, but of course it does. Friends are graduating soon and making huge life decisions, and it boggles my mind to realize that they're moving forward, which shouldn't be a surprise considering the changes in my own life, going to Boston and all (although, really, now that I've survived a whole semester and pretty much have a handle on how city living works, it doesn't seem so amazing to me anymore that I'm out there--it's amazing how quickly the new and exciting can become commonplace!).

One other thing to mention--I figure the more people I tell about this, the more likely I'll be to succeed in it. My grandma Elsie, long known for giving incredibly random Christmas presents, did something good for me this year. She gave me a "day book," which is like a hardcover weekly planner that has illustrations and quotes on every page. I have decided to make it a sort of micro-journal and write something in it every day. Since the space allowed is rather small, it's less daunting than an entire journal page, which I sometimes feel guilty for wasting if I only write a few lines before my train of thought derails or falls asleep. But this way, I can get myself back into the habbit of writing every day, and hopefully also start writing longer journal entries in my regular journal and more frequent blog posts and even some fiction work. I've never been much of one for New Year's resolutions, but if I had one it would be to write every day no matter what and to make real progress with my fiction again. (Better physical fitness is also a goal of mine, but since I already have a plan for swimming and such, it hardly seems to merit the title of "New Year's Resolution If I Were To Make New Year's Resolutions.")

Sorry to jump topics so much, but it's what I had to say. Happy 2009--may it be even better than the year before!

-Kim