Hay nubes entre mi corazon y mi cerebro

Suzy went home last night and took about half her stuff with her. So right now the room feels rather big and empty. But that's not the subject of this post. While she was packing things up whe stumbled across Chris' heart pillow in the back of her closet where we hid it after I broke up with him. I think I need to give it back to him. I always meant to do that, but that would have involved talking to him, something I wasn't prepared to do. But now I think I have to before we go our separate ways for the summer. Things cannot go back to exactly the way they were before we started dating, but I think we can be friends again. One issue though, is that I have been slowly changing throughout the course of this school year. I am not the same person I was in the fall. (even my Spanish teacher, Doctora Duyos, noticed this and commented on it) I'm not sure if even I can articulate and explain just what those changes were, but they were significant enough to alter, or perhaps release, my personality. Actually, I think that is the right word for it. Release. All my life I've been hiding parts of myself. You can read in my first blog entry about one aspect of myself that has changed in the recent past. I've even been randomly singing, if you'll believe it. In the shower, on the quad, everywhere--with no fear of being heard. I shall have to delve further into this topic some time when I've had more time to study the issue. After all, that's not what I began this post to discuss. I'm tired of feeling awkward around Chris. Now, the simplest way to avoid this would be to avoid him, but that's not a real option, nor would it be emotionally healthy. I will be seeing Chris a lot at school, especially since he is going to be living with Jesse. Now, Jesse, I hope you're not embarassed by this, but in the last few months or so you've become a sort of big brother figure to me. So your friendship is very important to me and I am thrilled to help you whenever you need it. Once you meet Kevin you'll know how big of a compliment that is. Anyway, I think I've gotten off track again. This all may make very little sense, but it is what it is. And suddenly exhaustion has hit me like a brick wall. And yes, I do realize that that is an awkward metaphor to say the least.

May God grant wisdom to us all.

-Kim

Appology

To all of my faithful readers, I would like to appologize for the last post. I realize it was completely random and far too long. Just because I have left the realm of sanity far behind does not mean that I need to drag you with me.

Of course, in no way does this mean that I will never write a spazzy post again. Being spazzy inhibits inhibitions and makes me liable to type just about anything.

So this appology applies to all future posts as well. If I go too far into the realm of modnar, well, you've been warned.

Spazzy Happy and Tired

Hello all. Just a warning: Kim is tired and therefore may not make much sense tonight. But then, when has Kim ever really made all that much sense? So this should be nothing new and no surprise. And probably rather repetetively redundant.

So today was a really good day. The sun was shining and it was warm enough to go without a coat. And I had energy today. Probably because I actually made myself get up and work out this morning, which I haven't been doing for a while. It's amazing how much better that makes me feel. Though I had sort of hoped it would make my legs stop hurting and they still hurt. My calves have been in pain since after formal and I had trouble with stairs. Though basically I'm better now and shouldn't ramble on about it so.

Anyway, I was really bouncy all day. (yes, even in spite of a deathly boring LAR class and band rehearsal with a stressed Doc.) And I think the bouncy happiness led to a temporary case of ADD which is currently still with me. :D

And now for: The Adventures of Dianna and Kim!!! ;)

Today's adventure begins as Dianna discovers she is in desperate need of food. What can save her from this plight? Only a trip to WalMart. Naturally, Kim wants to go to and can think of several things whe would like to pick up for herself.
So they decide to go. But how will they get there? Neither girl has a car and it is too far to walk. Thankfully the day is saved by Jesse, who allows the girls to borrow his Caddy. Score!
(Now for the adventure part)
This is Kim's first time driving on 41st St. So naturally she is a bit paranoid and has declared a suspension on the slug-bug game so as not to be distracted. But fortunately, she is getting used to the size of the Caddy and can handle it fairly well now. Though she does still talk to herself as she drives, which causes much laughter to erupt from Dianna.
At WalMart the girls engage in a fruitless search for Doritos and return with differnt supplies instead. Getting back into the car, the door handle decides to bite Kim's finger, which is still tender several hours later. And she had begun to think that the car actually liked her. Apparently not. Perhaps it is because she still has issues parking it.
Back on campus it takes 3 tries to get the car within the lines of the parking space. However, Dianna, having spotted Josiah, becomes impatient and leaps out of the moving vehicle while Kim is still attempting to park it. Silly Dianna. What's next, leaping from a boat before it comes in to the dock? Or perhaps jumping from an airplane before it has landed? Find out on the next installment of The Adventures of Dianna and Kim! ;)

Well, I told you I was spazzy and tired. It's your own fault for actually reading it. So, is this enough for one night? I didn't think so. 'Cause i just keep going and going and going and going and going and going...Well, the Energizer Bunny I ain't. Bunny? That makes me think of something silly...Ridiculous Captain Rabbit King, Lucky Captain Rabbit King Nuggets are for the youth! (be afraid, be very afraid...)

I feel like just rambling tonight, even though I really should be getting ready for bed now. But I have very little to do tomorrow, so I think I can get away with it. Besides, I've had too much sugar and wouldn't be able to sleep properly right now anyway.

The Kentucky Derby is this Saturday. Post time is at 5:04 (yes, PM) for anyone who cares. I'm excited to watch it. I've always liked horse racing, even though I never watched it much. Probably because it's not shown on standard chanels. But I've read about horses and horse racing practically forever. The books being The Black Stallion series and the Thoroughbred series. (which, by the way, has a main character named Ashleigh, which made me want to spell my name Kymberleigh for a while. it was a phase) So with all of that reading to whet my imagination, the prospect of seeing the real thing again practically makes me drool. ;) I won't post a comment on who I think will win, though when I've had more time to look at the field, you might get an answer out of me in person.

I wish I had more time to practice my violin. Actually, I should make more time to practice my violin. Everything in life is a choice. Although, sometimes there is only one right choice, such as in the matter of whether or not to do my homework. What I actually want to do right now is learn how to fiddle properly. And I know this seems completely random, but because of Jesse I've been listening to Barrage all night and now I can't get the fiddles out of my head. Darn that Old Joe Clark!

I suppose that's enough rambling for tonight. In fact, I doubt if anyone will bother to read al the way through to this sentence, there's a lot of stuff to get through that really has no bearing on anything. It's all just a product of my spazzy happy tired mind. And yes, I'm basically just making this up as I go along. Life is just more fun that way. ;)

God bless.
-Kim

The Joys of Ice Cream

Today has been a good day thus far. After chapel Mary randomly asked me to have lunch with her, so I did. We went to Uno Tomato. (They give USF students a 10% discount there. Did you know that? I didn't.) We had a lot of fun just hanging out and talking about random things. Well, not so random, a lot of it related to band and music-ness in general. But it was fun because Mary is an awesome person. Then on the way back to campus she treated me to ice cream at the Dairy Queen drive-thru. So all in all I had a good time.

Well, the sun is shining and the air smells sweet, so I think I'm going to go spend some time outside lying on the grass. But before I go I'll leave you with an Irish blessing that appeared on today's page of my daily calendar:

May the sun always shine on your windowpane; may a rainbow be certain to follow each rain. May the hand of a friend always be near you; may god fill your heart with gladness to cheer you.

And yes, that applies to you even if you're not Irish. ;)

God bless.
-Kim

Modnar

Hello all. I'm tired and my head is fuzzy, so this may or may not make any sense. Actually, parts of it should make sense, but when viewed as a whole it may seem completely random. Oh well.

I have no opinions. Well, now that I've got your attention I should probably ammend that statement. I know I have opinions, but usually I don't know what they are until I am presented with a specific situation. Like during discussions in LAR, I know easily whether I agree or disagree with whatever is being said, but often I can't find the words to express it until the opportune moment has passed. Actually, that happens to me a lot, both in and out of class. That's why I like writing. You have as much time as you need to find the right words. Maybe it's just that I'm afraid to share my opinion. I'm afraid that I will be ridiculed and rejected if I say the wrong thing. Which is, of course, a foolish notion. I shouldn't say things for acceptance, I should say things because I believe them to be right and true. Even so, I'm having trouble coming up with a topic for my LAR ethical argument paper. Grr.

I watched Secret Window yesterday. I was afraid that, as a writer, it might freak me out. Not so much. But here's a mission for all of you. Don't ever let me become a recluse. I talk to myself and inanimate objects enough as it is. Just watch, someday I'll go off to a cabin in the mountains to do some writing and they'll find me crouched in a corner muttering about beavers and ducks. ;)

Actually, I feel a bit like a recluse right now. I've been hiding in my room to theoretically accomplish things. Instead I've done quite a bit of random thinking, a bit of journaling, and now I'm writing a post for my blog. Incredibly productive, aren't I? Oh well. The point I think I was trying to make was that I can manage to make myself feel isolated in as crowded a place as a college dorm. I think part of my problem is that I feel like I don't even have a roommate anymore. Suzy is gone pretty much all day and when she gets back it's late enough that I'm going to bed. So the only time we're both here is when I'm alseep. So often times I have the room to myself, which allows for the playing of loud music and also solitude. Now, solitude is the good side of lonliness. Solitude is a good thing until a certain point. That point is generally when I start staring at nothing and begin contemplating the complexities of stale muffins and suchlike. The lack of social interaction makes me a bit stircrazy. Though if I could actually use this time to get homework done or work on my story, it would be a good thing. But somehow that seems to not happen so much right now. Mayhaps it is the dreaded spring fever. If that is the case I should be alright by the end of May. Unfortunately, I need to concentrate right now to get myself to the end of May.

So, what have we learned from this? Kim is weird. But we already knew that. so now you just have more specifics, which may or may not be a good thing. Oh well. best wishes to the whole crew (crew = enough people to row a small boat--darn, that one was funnier earlier. Dianna even called me witty for it)

God bless.
-Kim