Have you ever choked on communion wine? It's pretty much the most awkward thing that can happen in church. Well, maybe not the most awkward, but it's pretty high up there. Well, it happened to me today. You wouldn't think it would be possible to choke on the tiny amount of grape juice they put in those little finger cups, but somehow I managed it. I'm pretty sure it just went down the wrong pipe.
It probably wouldn't have happened except that I was trying to hurry. I know, I know, the Lord's Supper isn't supposed to be about speed, but when you're in a large church service and you suddenly realize that sitting in the middle row has backfired and made you the last to receive the elements because of a weird process that involves passing the plates in the front and back at the same time, you tend to panic and worry that you're holding up the service for everyone else who has already finished communing and wants to go home for lunch and a football game. Maybe this means I'm too self-conscious, but the pressure to be quick is there. So instead of sipping politely my thimble serving of juice, I quaffed the blood of Christ like people take shots in the movies and passed the plate as quickly as possible. Maybe that fits under partaking in an unworthy manner or something, because it didn't work out so well.
But what could I do about it? The whole church was quietly reverent, and I had the irresistible need to cough. It's bad enough coughing during any other part of the service, but at least then people assume it's because you're sick, not because you got communion juice down your windpipe. But the coughing was unavoidable. At least I didn't notice any of the ushers giving me weird looks. Next time I'll try to make sure that doesn't happen.
As long as we're on the topic, is it bad that I was temporarily distracted by the form of bread they gave us? I've had communion at several different churches, and they all do it slightly different, but this was a first. The break came by in rounded cubes about the size of sugar cubes and was kind of chewy. It was also sweet, and i spent most of the time waiting for the cup to come trying to figure out what it tasted like. The closest thing I can come up with is a scone, like the plain ones Dianna made last year.
You know, the whole service today kind of baffled me. The text was Zechariah 8, but he kept going back to chapter 7 and not really covering anything new. Now the pastor's position on fasting is more clear to me, but we didn't really cover any new ground. Apparently he felt the need to recover the material in response to congregational comments after his sermon two weeks ago. Well, they can't be winners every time.
Next week I'll be at my aunt Myrlene's church in Bayville, NJ. I'm really looking forward to that trip. I'll only be with them for a couple of days, but time spent with family is always well spent.
-Kim
Librarian, You're a grand old
12 years ago
1 comment:
Um, I most definitely choked on the bread during communion this morning. And our church is a lot smaller, so it was a lot more noticeable. The bread was really dry, so when I bit into it, dusty crumbs shot to the back of my throat and made me cough. It was unpleasant, to say the least.
We've both choked on Jesus today. That's probably better than being choked by Jesus, though.
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