Hay nubes entre mi corazon y mi cerebro

Suzy went home last night and took about half her stuff with her. So right now the room feels rather big and empty. But that's not the subject of this post. While she was packing things up whe stumbled across Chris' heart pillow in the back of her closet where we hid it after I broke up with him. I think I need to give it back to him. I always meant to do that, but that would have involved talking to him, something I wasn't prepared to do. But now I think I have to before we go our separate ways for the summer. Things cannot go back to exactly the way they were before we started dating, but I think we can be friends again. One issue though, is that I have been slowly changing throughout the course of this school year. I am not the same person I was in the fall. (even my Spanish teacher, Doctora Duyos, noticed this and commented on it) I'm not sure if even I can articulate and explain just what those changes were, but they were significant enough to alter, or perhaps release, my personality. Actually, I think that is the right word for it. Release. All my life I've been hiding parts of myself. You can read in my first blog entry about one aspect of myself that has changed in the recent past. I've even been randomly singing, if you'll believe it. In the shower, on the quad, everywhere--with no fear of being heard. I shall have to delve further into this topic some time when I've had more time to study the issue. After all, that's not what I began this post to discuss. I'm tired of feeling awkward around Chris. Now, the simplest way to avoid this would be to avoid him, but that's not a real option, nor would it be emotionally healthy. I will be seeing Chris a lot at school, especially since he is going to be living with Jesse. Now, Jesse, I hope you're not embarassed by this, but in the last few months or so you've become a sort of big brother figure to me. So your friendship is very important to me and I am thrilled to help you whenever you need it. Once you meet Kevin you'll know how big of a compliment that is. Anyway, I think I've gotten off track again. This all may make very little sense, but it is what it is. And suddenly exhaustion has hit me like a brick wall. And yes, I do realize that that is an awkward metaphor to say the least.

May God grant wisdom to us all.

-Kim