well there's good news...

...and there's complicated news. After my one month post-op check-up on Friday, the good news is that my healing is progressing at such a rate that my dentists continue to be astounded. In both thickness and height, this second grafting procedure has yielded even better results than the first. Hooray for me.

The news that gives me complicated feelings rather than simply good or bad is that the earliest date we could schedule my next surgery, the upper left side, is May 21. We did what we could to try to get it in sooner, but this was the best we could do. It boils down to the difficulty in matching together three schedules: mine, my dentist Fatema, and the surgeon Dr. Griffin.

On the one hand, this is great because it won't take any more time away from this semester (it actually falls exactly one week after my graduation). This is very good news, since I have three big projects to complete in the next few weeks and another surgery would make that difficult, to say the least. So there is a sense of relief associated with this news. Also, my healing weeks will be in the empty buffer zone between the end of the semester and the start of my summer job as a tour guide at Park Street Church (unconfirmed, but I know they want me back), so I'll have plenty of time to sleep and recover.

On the other hand, scheduling the next surgery for May stretches out the whole process much longer than I would have liked. The procedure that we do in May will be the third in a series of at least four (there has been some debate between Fatema and Dr. Griffin about whether they might do one more procedure on the bottom teeth when we're done with all the bone grafting, to thicken the soft tissue even more). After the surgery in May I will have to wait four to six weeks before we could even consider doing the upper right. Waiting for the left side to heal is absolutely necessary so that I will be able to chew on that side again when we do the surgery on the right--there is no getting around it unless I want to be on a purely liquid diet for six weeks. Not to mention that having two large areas healing at the same time is just not the best idea. So the fourth surgery would be put off until at least June, best case scenario. Then we take into account all the follow-up appointments to check the tissue growth. I've been in every week for the past month for measurements, photographs and cleanings. The weekly visits are now over, but she wants to see me at the two and three month mark as well. So, best-case scenario, the last date I could have a surgery this summer and complete my follow-up appointments, would be the end of June. That would be a tight squeeze, fitting it in after the one on May 21. So, my series of surgeries is likely to be incomplete when I leave town at the end of summer in preparation for spending the fall in Salzburg. Darn.

On the other hand, having the work unfinished gives me a reason to come back to Boston in January and narrows my job searching options. This could be a good thing, as a narrower focus could make searching easier, and I do have a few good contacts here in Boston, as well as friends who would let me stay with them while I look for a place of my own.

On the other hand, if I don't find a job right away but decide to come back to Boston to complete my surgeries (even without dental insurance) it will be a very expensive few months. If I were allowed to look beyond the Boston area, say back home in the Midwest, I would have more options and therefore, mathematically, better chances of finding something.

On the other hand, by completing this internship I am making my resume much more impressive and making myself much more likely to get a job period, wherever I look. After all, who else will be able to say they've done what I will be doing?

On the other hand, sometimes I worry too much. God has been working things out beautifully so far, and I should trust him to continue. He led me from USF to Boston, to an incredible program where I have learned much and made great friends. He made sure I was in Boston, with access to the most current and exciting dental procedures when I needed them. And he blessed me with an incredible internship, which will bless me in ways I can't even imagine yet. I worry because I don't know where I will be or what I will be doing in January, when really, that's not so bad. Plenty of people don't know what they'll be living next week or whether they'll have enough money for food tomorrow. I have never had to worry about those things, and there is plenty of time still for these details to come together.

As for surgeries, I'll take them as they come and trust that the one who created my mouth will grant me the time and the opportunity to complete the work of repairing and strengthening it.

-Kim