"The movie in my mind"

Last night I saw the musical Miss Saigon at the Washington Pavilion. We got the cheap student rush tickets, so they put us in the nosebleed section, which actually wan't that bad because we could hear everything just fine. And actually, I'm glad I didn't have a front row seat for the first scene. If you've seen the show, you'll know what I'm talking about, otherwise, don't worry about it.
One of the reasons I was so ecxited to see this show was because my marching band last year played music from it for our field show (which, by the way, we took to Portland and blew the Oregon bands out of the water with). I really wanted to learn the words to the songs that had already flooded my mind. "Sun and Moon" was especially beautiful, and I love it both with the words and without.
I knew before I went that this was going to be a sad show, but I didn't realize how emotional it would make me. I almost never cry, and this show had me in tears at the end because of all the sacrifices Kim had made and all the things out of her control that had led her to that point. Maybe it's because we share our name, but I felt connected to her as I watched. I felt her pain as her dream, the "movie in [her] mind," was lost forever. I have put away dreams too. It can hurt terribly to lose all hope of achieving a dream held on to and cherrished for so long. Of course, if it's not the right dream, then in spite of the pain, we should be glad.
We all have dreams deep in our hearts that we cherish. For some it's a certain career, or a certain fammily life, or simply feeling important and making a difference. Whatever the dream is, we all think about what life could be like and watch the movie in our mind. The movie in which we are the star and everything is going our way. But life soesn't work that way. Often people who achieve those dreams find that real life is not nearly how they imagined it in the movie in their mind.
Personally, I think I understand why my lost dreams had to be abandoned. I can't be the center of my own life, and I can't just do whatever I want. God has a plan for me that is better than anything I could dream up in my wildest imaginings. So even though it may be painful to lay down some of the dreams I carry, I know that in return God will give me one that is better by far and worthy of my dreaming and achieving. And the best part? He has one for you too. He has a dream for you that you will never have to let go of.
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11
In closing, there is a song by BarlowGirl that has touched my heart on this subject that I would like to share with you:

Surrender
My hands hold safely to my dreams
clutching tightly not one has fallen
so many years I’ve shaped each one
reflecting my heart showing who I am
Now you’re asking me to show
what I’m holding Oh so tightly
Can’t open my hand can’t let go
Why does it matter
Why should I show you
Why can’t you let me go

(Chorus:)
Surrender, Surrender You whisper gently
You say I will be free
I know but can’t you see
My dream are me, My dreams are me

You say you have a plan for me
and that you want the best for my life
Told me the world has yet to see
what you can do with one
that’s committed to your call
I know of course what I should do
That I can’t hold these dreams forever
But if I give them now to you
Will you take them
away forever or can I dream again?

Peace and joy to all of you--go enjoy the lovely spring weather.